


i'm all ears

by civilcarter



Series: little more (i want you baby) [5]
Category: GOT7
Genre: Angst, M/M, angsty af, can u believe i love angst, i love crying over idols, pls protect jackson he's such a sunshine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-24
Updated: 2017-01-24
Packaged: 2018-09-19 14:11:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9444935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/civilcarter/pseuds/civilcarter
Summary: things shouldn't be that tough. and he knew that.





	

**Author's Note:**

> based completely on my thoughts about jackson's health, self-esteem and overworking problems. i don't know if posting this is a good idea, but i still wanted to do it and my impulse control kinda sucks. so here it is.

things shouldn't be that tough. and he knew that.

jaebum knew all of it was wrong. every single fiber of his being was screaming it, trying to get him to just listen. but even hearing the choir of pleads, he still had nothing to do - and he was also aware of that. it was out of his hands this time.

he woke up tired that day. he shouldn't be up so early, he needed the extra sleep; but his mind began to race and overwork and it kept him awake for the last 25 minutes at least. his eyes were already wide open when he got up. what he didn't notice, however, was jackson. in his sleeping shorts and bare chest, his silhouette delineated against the still dim morning light. jaebum wondered for a moment if he should talk to the man. he came to the conclusion it would be an awful idea - but did it, nevertheless.

"you should be sleeping" he said, his bare feet thudding lightly against the floor. jackson's face turned and his gaze roamed towards his hyung's. he felt like he should smile, but he was out of energy for being nice.

"you should too. what are you doing up? overthinking again?"

jaebum nodded a yes. jackson shrugged.

silence filled the room again for some seconds, while jackson left a free space for jaebum to watch the morning view with him. outside, the country started to wake up and move again, filling the buses and trains and following with their lives in an organized mess of silent footsteps and screaming eyes.

"have you ever wondered what goes on in other people's lifes when you look out from the window?" jackson asked, out of the blue. jaebum, caugh off guard, just looked up at him.

"have you ever wondered what shit they go through every day? the loud bosses, the lack of money, the family problems" he continued. "have you ever asked yourself what makes their life so different from ours?"

"we're idols" this one was easy. jackson's forehead contorted into a frown, under jaebum's curious stare.

"we face the same shit they do everyday" he said, as calm as humanly possible. "how come they face all this and, still, i can't fucking find a reason to be excited about today?"

"what are you trying to say?" jaebum inquired.

jackson sighed.

"nothing, hyung. nothing".

it was jaebum's time to take a deep breath.

"their struggle isn't different from ours - we go through the same problems they do. but after worktime they go home, to their families; they don't stay practicing and trying to be perfect for last-centuried standards".

"so why do _we_ need to keep doing that?" jackson's voice broke mid-sentence. jaebum looked up at him. jackson was almost great at hiding his tears. _almost_.

instintively, jackson turned to his side and hid his face in jaebum's neck, letting the water from his eyes flow and moist his hyung's shirt. jaebum, at the same time, hugged him as if jackson was a small child, carefully and tenderly, trying to make him feel better somehow. he knew just that wouldn't be even close from enough, but still, if it helped even a little bit, he'd do it.

jackson tried to mumble things, to form small sentences, but between his own hiccups and jaebum's shushes, he became silent. the quietness around them was calming; jackson was beginning to calm down and, even if jaebum knew he needed to talk to jackson when he was finally ready, he also knew keeping his mouth shut for now was the best option.

jackson could hear his friend's heart beating a little faster than usual, the way his lungs sucked air in such concern. jaebum has always been a worried hyung, a caring leader and a good friend. jackson knew that, no matter what happened, im jaebum would always be there for him.

jaebum only dared to speak up when he felt jackson had stopped crying.

"do you want to tell me why are you crying?"

he knew why. but jackson should be the one talking about it, not him.

jackson took a deep breath, letting go from his hyung's embrace and sitting at jaebum's bed.

"i'm sorry for you shirt".

"oh, it has been in worse situations, believe me. you don't have to talk if you don't want to, it's fine-"

"no" jackson's voice sounded desperate. jaebum's eyes turned at him in worry, once more. "i want to. i just..."

jaebum sat by him at the mattress.

"i'm all ears".

and so he spoke. he spoke about how his health has been failing, about how stress has been eating him from the inside. he spoke about how he rarely sleeps properly, about how his head is about to explode because he can't just focus anymore. he spoke about how he can't even look at himself in the mirror anymore, too scared he won't recognize the one at the reflection. he spoke about how he tries his best to be the same jackson he has ever been, but he just can't - he doesn't have the strenght to. not anymore.

jaebum just listens, as a good friend does. he makes remarks and asks questions where he knows he should, not only because he wants to help jackson, but he is worried with him. he doesn't want jackson to become what he has, he can't afford losing jackson like that - he just _can't_.

but when jackson finishes, he realizes he has a simple but yet complicate choice to make.

he can either watch jackson wither _in silence_ or _crying_.


End file.
